I just spent the last half hour autographing 300 letters to plant retirees for this year's United Way campaign. It brought back fond memories of sitting in school, filling an entire sheet of looseleaf paper with my signature - no doubt in preparation for the day I become CEO and have to sign stuff a lot. They do sign stuff a lot, right?
To make myself super productive, I wore one of those rubber thumb condoms - it's ribbed for the paper's pleasure you know. Using protection was a fantastic idea, because I escaped the ordeal with only minor paper cuts to the corners of my mouth. The only problem is that my left thumb is all sweaty now, and seems to have developed a distinctive odor…
Time to go mail merge 300 envelopes - woohoo! I enjoy this kind of stuff WAY too much - my mom can testify to how much I used to love spending time in office supply stores. Maybe I should be an executive secretary or something?